The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and
goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter says "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.

Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St.
Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest but the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one how many days of the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Oh Forrest! That's not what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer." "How about the next one?"
asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?. Now that one's harder,"
says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that an I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve!
Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second......"

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this.
And, I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest replied, "Andy."

"OK, OK," said a frustrated St.Peter, "I guess I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied.
"I learned it from the song.....

(You ready for this? Scroll down ...)

"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...."

A man put this note under the windshield wiper of his car: "I've circled the block try to find a parking spot for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here, I'll lose my job.'Forgive us our trespasses.'" When he returned, he found a parking ticket and this note: "I've circle the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket,I'll lose my job.'Lead us not into temptation.'"

A minister was forced to stop by a traffic cop to pull over for speeding. As the cop was about to write the ticket, the minister said to him, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." The cop handed the minister the ticket and said, "Go thou and sin no more."

Here's a riddle that may make you think.

It's more powerful than God.

It's more evil than the Devil.

The poor have it.

The rich need it.

If you eat it you will die.

Believe it or not, 70% of elementary school children quizzed solved the riddle, and only

17% of college age people figured it out.

Good luck. Don't move to the bottom unless you give up and want the answer......

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The answer is NOTHING -

NOTHING is more powerful than God.

NOTHING is more evil than the Devil.

The poor have NOTHING.

The rich need NOTHING.

If you eat NOTHING you will die